haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
