So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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