wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
