so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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