hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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