You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Randomize
