Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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