ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
