Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
