Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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