just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The adults are the big ones right?
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