They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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