its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Randomize
