She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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