Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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