4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
