it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
