I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I don't deserve a penis
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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