so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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