Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
