someone get that fucking seahorse.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
