That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
