What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
