so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
