Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
