question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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