Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
4 words: hood of his car
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
