Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
