I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
operation have a gay friend backfired
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
