It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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