Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
