When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
