puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
tequila makes me forget i have legs
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
