dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
