Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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