I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
