You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
