I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
