i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
