I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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