Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
