This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
