I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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