She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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