Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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