Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
