i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i would one night stand the shit outta him
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
