to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
