you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
