The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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