yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
dude. I can hear the air.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
