Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
